We're really struggling with bickering between the two lovely middle children lately! I am really, really tired of having to hear it all day, every day. This morning, we had a discussion (spurred by something I had read in
Homeschooling at the Speed of Life this morning) about God's sovereign plan. We talked about how God chose each one of us to be in this exact family, with these exact brothers and sisters and parents. Why? For our character, not our comfort. To conform us to His image. To help us learn how to deal with difficult people. Why? Because people matter to God, so they should matter to us. We want to show God's love to everyone, even difficult people.
We also talked about how I can't MAKE them do or be anything. I can only control myself and each one of them can only control himself or herself. Therefore, I am going to calmly dole out consequences for using "toxic" language, but I will no longer get upset or take it personally. (This is something I've come to terms with after reading
Scream-Free Parenting.)
I think it helped, and today went much better. Now, if I can keep attending to this, maybe we'll see some progress.
This picture has nothing to do with this post, but it was cute! Daddy and Carys were watching Pooh on a Sunday morning. I'm not sure who was watching more attentively!
3 comments:
I have a picture of Jordan and Carlos back when he is little sitting on the floor watching a football game . .it's one of my favorite pictures!
Linda, excellent and helpful post. My two kids (13yodd, 9yods) are very close but also of course don't always get along. I occasionally joke to dh that I thought they'd grow out of acting like they were 3 and 7. Sigh. I have found too that a lot of how they act depends on my response, which I've learned to temper.
Linda - we deal with bickering children here as well. Thank you for the reminder that other families deal with it and for the encouragement to keep discussing God's plan for our family.
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