Meahl Memories

A Church Called Tov - Chapter 6: "Tov Churches Nurture Empathy"

Empathy is a word that describes Jesus to the core, and "compassion is the outworking of empathy." (p. 100) "Any church that claims connection to Jesus, and any church that wants to follow Jesus, absolutely must have a heart for the wounded and the marginalized. Sadly many churches lack empathy and therefore lack compassion." (p. 103) The authors then list examples of people who often face a lack of empathy and compassion in churches, then state, "Churches that follow Jesus don't' simply take up a cause for one specific group; they develop a culture in which they hear the cries of all the distressed, all the wounded, and respond with compassion." (p. 104)

In this chapter, the authors focus on how churches can become more empathetic to women, because of what has happened to women in so many churches. The points they make can be easily applied to other marginalized people they listed. "Women who seek to exercise their gifts in the church are sometimes perceived as a threat by narcissistic  pastors who are wrapped up in the power game and surrounded by sycophantic supporters who are determined to protect their male-centric culture." (p. 105)  I have seen this over and over again, and I am done with this kind of church. I'm done with the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC); I'm done with the Young, Restless, and Reformed type of pastor rampant in all kinds of churches today; I'm done with the silencing of women in churches. However, living in a somewhat rural county in Florida, it's been difficult to find a church that takes Scripture seriously while also affirming the place of women in the church.  I honestly believe the handful of verses being held as a weapon over the heads of women in churches are being misinterpreted.  I'm not trying to throw out the baby with the bathwater, so to speak.

Back to the book. The authors note that there is a theological debate about the role of women in the church that is "beyond the scope of this present work." (p. 106) I highly recommend McKnight's book The Blue Parakeet. A Church Called Tov is addressing the way people are treated in the church.  "A church called tov will empower women (and others) in the giftedness and encourage those gifts to flourish within the body of Christ and in the world...And if they bring allegations of abuse, they will be believed and comforted and supported--and the truth will be pursued and upheld...The tov church will not protect the institution at the expense of the individual. The tov church will not spin false narratives to hide what has happened and protect the abusers." (p. 106)

Finally in this chapter, the authors turn to the question of how to form a culture of tov that honors women and gives them a voice. They return to the ideas of a previous chapter on how a culture is formed. It begins with the narrative told by the leaders.  So, "A church that is committed to developing a culture of tov will know the names and stories of women in the Bible...[and] the names and stores of women in church history.... [and] the names and stories of women in their own local church history...nurtur[ing] women as agents of God's redemptive work in the world." (p. 107-108, 110)

We have been blessed to recently begin attending a church that "intentionally promotes the contributions of women on [their] webpage and on the platform during services."  However, last Sunday, less than two months after we committed to getting involved in the ministry of this church, the pastor announced that he is stepping down. Since it is an independent church, we have no idea how the culture will change. We hope and pray the culture that honors women will remain.  McKnight and Barringer write, "When a male-based culture is re-formed into a male-and-female based culture, it presents a truer picture of the character of God, who created all people as his image bearers. When the voices of women become customary, common expected, and accepted, the church becomes more inviting, more inclusive, more empathetic, more compassionate, safer, and more secure--for everyone. We pray for that day." (p. 111) So do I.