One Thousand Gifts

After the third friend told me that One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp was a must read, I put it in my queue at the library.

Now I must say that the author is very poetic, which makes this a difficult read for me. I'm more of a "cut-to-the-chase" kind of girl! However, I was hooked by the second chapter when I read this:

"For years of mornings, I have woken wanting to die. Life itself twists into nightmare. For years, I have pulled the covers up over my head, dreading to begin another day I'd be bound to just wreck. Years, I lie listening to the taunt of names ringing off my interior walls, ones from the past that never drifted far and away: Loser, Mess, Failure. They are signs nailed overhead, nailed through me, naming me. The stars are blinking out.

Funny, this. Yesterday morning, the morning before, all these mornings, I wake to the discontent of life in my skin. I wake to self-hatred. To the wrestle to get it all done, the relentless anxiety that I am failing. Always, the failing. I yell at children, fester with bitterness, forget doctor appointments, lose library books, live selfishly, skip prayer, complain, go to bed too late, neglect cleaning the toilets. I live tired. Afraid. Anxious. Weary. Years, I feel it in the veins, the pulsing of ruptured hopes. Would I ever be enough, find enough, do enough? But this morning [she had a nightmare about dying of cancer], I wake wildly wanting to live. Physically feeling it in the veins trembling, the hard pant of the lungs, the seeing it in the steady stars, how much I really want to really live. How I don't want to die. Is that the message of nightmares and dreams? To live either fully alive...or in empty nothingness?

It's the in between that drives us mad.

It's the life in between, the days of walking lifeless, the years calloused and simply going through the hollow motions, the self-protecting by self-distracting, the body never waking, that's lost all capacity to fully feel--this is the life in between that makes us the wild walking dead."

Oh my! I have felt exactly like that. Dreading every day, wanting to pull the covers over my head, calling myself "loser, mess, failure" because I've once again yelled at a child, etc., etc.

Her answer to this is eucharisteo - thanksgiving. This is the Greek word used as "give thanks" in the Luke 22:19: "And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them..." Jesus did this the night before his crucifixion. And he knew what was coming.

Then she quotes Alexander Schmemann in For the Life of the World: Sacraments and Orthodoxy: "The only real fall of man is his noneucharistic life in a noneucharitic world." In her words, "ingratitude was the fall--humanity's discontent with all that God freely gives." OUCH!

And then this part of chapter 3 reaches out to slap me: "Long, I am woman who speaks but one language, the language of the fall--discontentment and self-condemnation, the critical eye and the never satisfied." I had to stop reading there last night because I needed to blog about what I'd read so far.

This morning I started the list. It will be hard for me to get to one thousand.

Read this book!

Carys' Boo Boo

Last Wednesday, July 13, shortly before 6:00pm, Landon and I were in the kitchen starting dinner when we heard Carys start hollering and crying.

I said, "Where are you?" while Chase came barreling out of Landon's room. Carys was in my bedroom standing in front of my vanity mirror.

Chase said, "She's bleeding!" and threw herself dramatically on the floor.

Never one to overreact to blood from the mouth, I picked up Carys and carried her into my bathroom.

"Where are you hurt?"

"My chin!" she sobbed. I bent her head back, took one look at the gash on her chin, grabbed some kleenex to hold to it, and picked her up. She had been running out of my bathroom and slipped and hit her chin on the tile floor.



"We're going to the emergency room," I said, "Get the keys, Landon. You're driving."

I hollered Gerren's name while walking out the door, but there was no response from him. Landon HATES to drive my van because it's a big conversion van and much more difficult to maneuver than Greg's smaller truck. However, I wanted to hold Carys in the back of the van, so he had to drive. He did just fine. I was really proud of him. We repeatedly called Gerren on the way to the ER to get him to turn off the water under the pasta pot. He never answered the phone. Greg ended up having to go home from the hotel (where he was working at his 2nd job) to turn off the stove. I was not happy with Gerren who had his ipod on, I guess!

We went to a hospital near us that supposedly had a 10 minute ER wait. We got there about 6:15 or maybe a little before. Unfortunately, the Quick Care section of the ER was slammed that evening. Although, we were taken back to a room within 10 minutes, it was past 8:30pm before Carys was eventually treated. She got 5 stitches in the 2" long gash. The worst part was the 3 sticks it required to numb the area. After that she was fine.



She looks like she has whiskers! We'll see how it goes getting the stitches out on Monday, but it looks to be healing nicely now. It was past 9:00pm when we got out of there, so needless to say, we drove through McDonald's instead of making dinner at home. It was a LONG day!

FPEA Graduation

We finally got Landon's graduation pictures from the formal graduation ceremony he participated in through our state's homeschool group, the FPEA. It was a really incredible ceremony. I always meant to sit through one before my kids got to that age, but it just didn't happen. So, I had no idea what to expect. I think we had it good this year because our governor was participating in the ceremony, so everything had to be kept on time. I've heard that's been a problem in the past.

During rehearsal they had the graduates write a thank-you note to their parents on an index card. Before the ceremony, they put these cards up on the big screen with the graduate's name on top as they played graduation-type music.


Then they put up pictures of the grads participating in an "activity" of some sort as the music continued to play. This was Landon's picture.


At the end of all this, they posted this picture of all the graduates.


Then the ceremony began. There were two speakers, one was a homeschool speaker, Rick Green, the other was the governor of Florida, Rick Scott. Then, they called the graduates up. They took this picture when each graduate was backstage before receiving his/her diploma.


As the graduate received his/her diploma from the governor, the FPEA district directors read a script about him/her that was submitted with all the pictures, etc. The governor handed every single graduate (there were 254) his/her diploma and posed for a picture.


At that time, a baby picture was played on the big screen beside a senior picture. Here are the two I sent in for Landon.

6 months old


18 years old


It was a really incredible ceremony, and we're so glad that Landon decided to participate. Here we are after the ceremony.