Church Paradigm

I'm so discouraged with the state of the church in the US.  I think Landon feels the same way as he's almost given up finding a church in Orlando.  Orlando!  We haven't given up yet, but we're so discouraged.

We have never felt like our current church is our family.  We've been attending there for two years now.  Never once has anyone invited us over for dinner or even coffee.  Never once has anyone even asked us to go out to eat with them after church.  There are no other homeschooling families in our church.  I am so lonely.

I am making my way through this blog post written by futuristguy who is a frequent commenter on another blog I like to read, The Wartburg Watch.  Some parts have really hit home with me, and I wonder where to find a church like that.

In the section "Trends in Managing Membership", he wrote: 

"Seeker-sensitive" programs and using key church services as a platform for evangelism are based on a consumerist paradigm; discipleship - TRUE discipleship - is based on a participatory/producer paradigm. The emerging paradigm that will be in ascendancy soon...  is based on a producer mentality.  Churches that reinforce spiritual consumerism will be functioning on a paradigm in decline that will be in full decay within 25 to 50 years. The time is now to transition toward an integrative, holistic, producer-use-your-giftings paradigm. If we can connect God’s people into meaningful ministry at levels appropriate to their gifts and spiritual maturity, I suspect many aspects of being/doing church will take care of themselves, as long as there is intentional discipleship and training (emphasis mine).

Though our current church is not based on a consumerist paradigm, there is still no attempt to connect people "into meaningful ministry at levels appropriate to their gifts".  Instead there's a lot of micromanaging of ministry by the paid staff.

Under "Trends in Church Communications" he writes:

In [Traditional or Pragmatic paradigms], the leader has automatic authority to decide and lead because of their official positions/roles. In the emerging Holistic paradigm, leaders earn authorization to advise and influence based on a relationship of trust. I suspect many churches, denominations, and ministries experience significant breakdowns in their communication systems. Do we follow through on what we say? Do we promise things too far beyond what we know we can fulfill? Does anyone take notes at meetings so we don’t waste time later trying to reconstruct what the decisions and details were? Whatever the specifics, leaders (and therefore their Kingdom enterprises) often are not proving trustworthy, and that is a warning signal to those who crave the security of trustworthy leaders. (In an America where many children come from homes of divorce, and where typical senior pastor turnover is around three years if I remember correctly, consistency and continuity are essential for maintaining leadership roles in the lives of generations X, Y, and Z. In an unstable world, at least we can offer godly security of doing things decently and in order, and keeping our word!)

 Doing things "decently and in order"?  "Keeping our word"?  Where are those churches?  I haven't been involved in a church like that in a long time, maybe not ever!  Well, we haven't given up yet.  We're still looking for a church where " the locus of leadership is shifting from professionals to participants, and the focus is shifting from authority to authorization."  As futurist guy writes:

 Power has traditionally been in the hands of the paid church leaders, and their decisions needed to be implemented loyally in deference to their positions of authority. Power is now in the hands of participants, who authorize influence to institutional leaders based on maintaining a relationship of trust. This means participants may well not continue their involvement if trust is not established after a reasonable period of relating, or if it is broken and  not mended. Thus, I would urge leaders to review all “systems issues” and “church service styles” in light of TRUST. If mutual trust is not the core of bridging generations and paradigms, then the legacy of the Traditionals and Pragmatics will not be sustained, even with well-intentioned “tweaks” of programs and structures in order to seem more Holistic-friendly.

Yes!

Tough Week

We got home from Sarasota on the Saturday of Labor Day weekend.  Landon was home from UCF, and we had a nice weekend.  On Monday, however, he woke up with vertigo.  It got worse as the day went on.  So, we had to make an unexpected trip to Orlando to take him and his car back to school.  He was up all night with dry heaves from the vertigo.  I convinced him to go to the clinic after his lab, and they gave him a prescription.  He feels okay as long as he takes it.  If he's not better in 10 days, he's supposed to go back.

On Tuesday, Greg, Chase and Gerren were headed to CAP and the transmission started going out on Greg's truck.  He managed to limp back to Ocala.  Thankfully, he has his motorcycle which he drove to work Wednesday.  During lunch, he called a local place that sells used parts and was able to get a transmission for $475.  One of the senior members at their CAP squadron has an auto repair place and will put it in for him very reasonably.  However, it's still a nearly $1000 repair which we cannot afford.

On Thursday morning, he went out to start his motorcycle and found that he'd left the key in it and turned on all night.  Needless to say, it wouldn't start.  He had to take my van to work on my usual grocery shopping day.  When he got home the battery still wasn't charged, so he had to take my van another day and go to buy a new battery for the motorcycle.  The Walmart he went to was out of them.  So, after pizza and a movie for family night, he headed to the Walmart near us and bought one.  He came home, charged it up for several hours, tried to put it in his motorcycle, and it wouldn't fit.  He had to go back to Walmart and exchange it.  He got to bed at 1:45am Saturday morning just to get back up at 6:30 to go to work at the hotel (his second job).

Then, he found out that his hours at the hotel were cut AGAIN due to it being their slow season.  They were cut at the end of June from 20-12 hours per week, and now he's down to 8.  We like having him home, but we cannot afford it!

I can only speak from our personal experience, but we are in NO way better off than we were four years ago.  I guess you can figure out who we're voting for in November.

The Last Hurrah of Summer

 As in previous years, we did 4 weeks of school then headed to Suntide Island Beach Club for our annual timeshare week.  Carys has been there every year since she was born and has made some great friends.  This year was awesome because it was the first time since 2006 that Greg was able to stay the whole week. 

Greg and Carys in the hot tub

Chase doesn't want to have her picture taken.

Greg worked on teaching Carys to swim.

This is what Gerren and Chase did most of the time.

This is what I did most of the time!

Chase STILL doesn't want her picture taken.

Carys lost another tooth one night.

Isabella and Bianca and their family have the condo next to ours.

Carys looks forward to playing with them all year!

In the pool with Mom

We met the Beatty family at Suntide four years ago.  They rent there at least once a year.  We hadn't been back at the same time until this year. Sherry, the mom, thought she recognized Chase and came over and asked.  Chase and Micaela struck up their friendship again.  Micaela taught Chase how to make these bracelets she'd been trying to learn to make on her own.

Micaela and Nolan

Gerren and Chase finally came out of the room on the last day.

Playing pool with Micaela and Nolan was too good to pass up

One last picture of Carys swimming

We had an awesome, relaxing time - the best time I've had in years although we missed Landon!  I guess we'd better get used to that.

School Already?

 Well, our summer has almost come to an end.  We began our rolling start into the school year on Monday, July 30, with all of our subjects that run on 180-day schedules - mostly the Sonlight stuff.  We love Sonlight, and this is my 15th year using it, every single year I've homeschooled!

Chase is doing American History and English I with Core 100 and Biology using Sonlight's schedule and Apologia's Exploring Creation With Biology.  She's using Thinkwell online for Algebra I.

Carys is using Core B and Science B along with Singapore Primary Mathematics 1A, All About Reading Level 1, Italic B handwriting, Artpac 1 from Rod & Staff and Bernstein Favorites: Children's Classics for music.

Gerren is not using much Sonlight.  He's only using the Bible part of the Sonlight Economics Schedule.  He's using Notgrass for the main part of Economics.  He's also taking Calculus I with Thinkwell, Computer Programming I through Florida Virtual School and finishing up Life Management and Study Skills using a few books here and there.  We were going to do Calculus II, but I think we may choose Personal Fitness instead.

We are starting our 4th week today then will take a break for our annual week at Lido Beach in Sarasota next week.  We can't wait!

We took Landon back to UCF Friday, and it's very strange not to have him here today!  He started his classes today and is looking forward to another great year.

Summer

Well, I'm thinking I should give up Facebook or some of the blogs I read to keep my own blog current!  I doubt I'll go to those extremes, but I do need to weed things out as we are starting school in less than two weeks.

The summer has seemed to fly by.  In June, we traveled to Illinois (which we really could not afford) to see my parents and attend a family reunion.  We had a wonderful time at the reunion, but I was shocked by the progression of my dad's dementia and appalled by my mom's denial of the problem.  I did everything I can, but not living in the area certainly puts a damper on my ability to influence the situation in any way.  

I did enjoy visiting with two old friends, and we did trips to the zoo (Carys wanted her picture taken with every statue), 

 

the Arch (including a riverboat ride), 

 

  

and Cunetto's House of Pasta on the Hill in St. Louis.  I would still LOVE to live there!  Unfortunately, strep throat wreaked its havoc on all of us while we were gone and when we returned to Florida. 

In July, we served at Mission Ocala with our church.  This event is like taking Vacation Bible School to the streets.  We do four days of our own VBS at a low-income apartment complex near where our church meets.  I had an awful cold the entire week which spoiled some of the fun, but we always get a lot out of it.  Many of these kids would never be able to go to VBS, if we didn't take it to them.

Also this month, Chase earned her Wright Brothers Award in Civil Air Patrol and the new rank of Tech Sergeant (I think - it's the first of 5 levels of sergeant).  Her test score was also high enough to earn entrance to the Cadet Honor Society which the Florida Wing has (I don't think all the wings have this).  Landon is a member with distinction of this honor society as well.  Chase is hoping to earn the "with distinction" part of it next. :)

 

 Chase has worked so hard this year both at school and in CAP.  We're proud of you, Chase!  

We're starting our Sonlight stuff on Monday, July 30.  We'll start other subjects (ones that don't require 180 days of work to complete) each week until we have everything going strong after Labor Day.  We're looking forward to a week at our timeshare on Lido Beach in Sarasota at the end of August.  (I needed a week at the beach in May, so I'm really glad to finally get one.)

The Month of May

Well, I'm determined not to let another six months go by before a blog post!  Here's what's been going on in the past few weeks at our house.

On Saturday, April 28, we headed to UCF to help Landon move most of his stuff home for the summer.  He wouldn't have to do this except that he's changing rooms.  So, he has a two-week period where everything has to be out of the old room and can't be in the new room.  Ugh!  It's been wonderful having him home, though.

The next Saturday, May 5, we celebrated Chase's 14th birthday.  Doesn't seem possible!  It was very weird not having her friend Sarah with us that day as usual, but Chase is blessed to have made a couple of new friends at Cross Point.  So, she invited Faith over for the day!

We went out to eat at Pepe's as we always have Mexican food on Chase's birthday.  We convinced her that this was a necessity when she was about three or four!

The next weekend was Mother's Day.  Landon took us all to see the Avengers on Saturday night while Carys played at a friend's house.  We picked her up, then he took us to Five Guys for supper.  Landon and Chase really made an attempt to spoil me with gifts the next day, and they did a pretty good job.  I got a scented candle for the kitchen and new couch pillows.  Greg took us out to eat at Stumpknockers.  Yum!

We finished the majority of our school on the Friday before Mother's Day.  Chase is finishing her math.  Gerren actually started next year's math - Thinkwell Calculus (which is two semesters of College Calculus) so that he can finish by early April and study to take the AP Calculus BC test in May.  Carys finishes math today, but she will continue her phonics at a slower pace over the summer as we don't want to lose any ground.  I plan for us to watch a lot of the streaming Netflix documentaries, etc. I have in my queue this summer.  We never seem to get time for them during the school year.

This past weekend, Gerren and Chase went to the beach with the youth from church.  We recently did a small group study called 40 Days in the Word.  Any youth that completed the entire workbook and came to all the sessions (I think they could miss one), got a free overnight trip to Daytona.  They had a good time but didn't use enough sunscreen.  Sigh!

In less than three weeks, we're leaving for a family reunion in Illinois.  I can't wait!

A Long Time

I knew it had been a long time since I posted on my blog, but when I came to look today I was shocked to see it was in January!  I really want to do a better job of writing here in the light of this weekend.  On Friday night, a mom I originally met at church and kept in touch with through homeschooling (even though she no longer goes to our church) passed away suddenly while doing laundry Friday evening.  She was 41.  What I've always known - that we're not guaranteed even one more breath - really hit me.

So, I'm going to try to quickly catch up and to do a better job of posting at least a weekly update! :)

February 28 was Landon's 19th birthday.  Where has the time gone?  The girls and I drove down to Orlando to take him out to dinner.  We ate at Buca di Beppo for the very first time and it was incredible!  I took along a homemade angel food cake and strawberries for dessert.

 I had my camera in the car, but didn't take it in, so this blurry picture from Chase's itouch is all I have.  Sigh!

On March 10, Gerren turned 17.  We ate out the evening before at Piesano's in Gainesville.  Greg took the day off and the boys went with him to the Gator Nationals.  So, we met them up there for dinner.  We loved the pizza we ate there this summer and were anxious to return.

 

The boys' college spring break weeks didn't line up so we took a day off one week and a day off the other week.  Ugh!

We all had dental check-ups in March as well.  On March 12, I posted the following on Facebook:

Overwhelming day. Took Gerren to sign up to take the ASVAB; took much longer than I thought. Then we had dentist appts. I need two fillings replaced and crowned (which I was expecting). My poor girls! Chase has two teeth (top either side of the very front two) whose roots were damaged by her orthodontic work. When her braces came off, one had 1/2 the root it should, one had 3/4. Well, the one with 1/2 the root, basically has no root now. She will lose this perfectly good tooth. UGH! Carys has a bunch of cavities!!!! This is totally foreign to me as none of the big kids ever had a single one. Off to the pediatric dentist she goes to see which need to be filled. (They are all baby teeth, but a couple look pretty big). SIGH!

Then on March 14, this:

Carys saw the pediatric dentist today, and it was worse than we thought.
1) She has 10 teeth with cavities! (How do you have no cavities and then 6 months later have 10?)
2) Two of them (the ones that were visible to me) were abcessed and had to be extracted.
3) Four of them need "baby" root canals and crowns.
4) The other four need fillings; two of those need crowns. 5) The two spaces left from the extractions need space maintainers.
Cost out of our pockets: $3245. (We do have dental insurance but it has a $1000/year cap which is reached after the extractions and root canals.)

April brought Easter.  Chase wanted to finish the skirt she and Erin cut over Thanksgiving.  I whipped that together in one day with her help.

 Carys loved her Rapunzel doll.  Skylar, one of her friends from church, calls her Rapunzel!

The Easter baskets were filled with great stuff!

 

Last week, Carys had an appointment with the Pediatric Dental Department of Shands Hospital (affiliated with the University of Florida in Gainesville).  This was just with the undergrads who referred to the residents (duh? - not sure why we weren't sent there first unless it's just procedure to do one before the other).  The dentist/supervisor told me he didn't think she'd need all the crowns the original dentist wanted.  But they'll have to see once they get in there.  She goes back June 4 unless they have a cancellation before that.  I'm dreading it.