Meahl Memories

A Church Called Tov - Chapter 2: Early Warning Signs of a Toxic Culture

 This chapter covers the two major "early warning signs of a toxic culture: narcissism and power through fear." (p. 25)

First, narcissism. The authors write, "For some reason, church leadership at times seems to attract unempathetic, selfish narcissists.... far too many churches have narcissists in leadership. And they are predominantly male."

There is a great discussion of what narcissism is. The authors contend that "we need a better understanding of the personality type because (sorry to say) narcissists are far too prevalent in our churches. We must develop the ability to spot them before they can do harm."

The Mayo Clinic definition: "Narcissistic personality disorder...is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism." (p. 27)

"Narcissists often gravitate toward enablers, who will pave their way to power--or at least not stand in the way... Some pastors nurture sycophants, and before long the elder board or deacon board is populated with apple-polishers who are malleable to the pastor's will and often unwilling to stand up to the pastor with solid--and necessary--biblical oversight." (p. 27) This pretty aptly describes the situation at the church we left.

"One of the most significant problems in churches today is the grasping for power of narcissistic pastors and leaders." (p. 28)

"For the narcissist, it's all about control. That's why narcissistic pastors, of churches large and small, tend to gravitate toward non-denominational churches or unaccountable church structures where they answer to no one. They prefer it that way." (p. 29)

Second, power through fear. "Perhaps the most common temptation for church leaders is to wield their assumed authority and position as weapons of lethal, wounding power. When a leader manifests the power hatchet, a culture is formed that adjusts to the blade of fear. Power and fear are close companions. Combine this with narcissism, and a toxic culture is sure to form." (p. 30-31)

"When other church leaders become complicit in a pastor's abuse of power, it casts a chilling shadow on the rest of the church and people become reluctant to speak up... Once a culture of fear forms within a church, there's almost no turning back." (p. 31)

The authors then go deeper into "the dynamics of a power-and-fear-based culture" because this type of church culture is on the rise and very difficult to uproot. They discuss recent research into the effects of power on the human brain which is frightening, to say the least. "Subjects under the influence of power acted as if they had suffered traumatic brain injury." (p. 32-33)

The chapter concludes with "eight indicators that anyone can use to evaluate their own church's culture":

1) Power and authority are vested in an individual. (p. 34) In the church we recently left, the pastor had the power to hire and fire other staff members and change their salaries with no input from the elder board.  Dangerous!

2) The pastor's approval becomes the gold standard. (p. 34)

3) Those approved by the power pastor gain 'status enhancement.' (p. 35)

4) Power cuts with both sides of the blade. (p. 36)

5) The power-shaping culture transitions into a fear-shaped culture. (p. 36)

6) Judgments and decisions are rendered behind a wall of secrecy. (p. 36) "In a power-through-fear culture, the powerful pastor and his close associates decide what information will be disseminated and what will be held back... People resign and leave with no explanation, often 'called to a new ministry,' and only the insiders know why. This form of secrecy induces fear in other staff members to stay in line. When someone leaves, he or she is encouraged to 'end well' which means 'don't talk.' Secrecy remains." (p. 37) This one really hit home with me because it describes exactly the "straw that broke the camel's back" when we left our church last fall.

7) Behind the wall of secrecy lurks a perpetual fear of status degradation. (p. 37)

8) Removal from the circle entirely. (p. 38) 

Final paragraph: "What can you do if you begin to recognize the warning signs of a toxic church culture? Do you speak up? How do you speak up? What happens if you speak up? We turn to that next." (p. 39)